My One-Year Anniversary of Being Back Home

On August 1st, one year ago, I returned (indefinitely??) to the Netherlands after living 7 years outside my home country. Those were 7 amazing years. In year 7 though, I realized subconsciously that I got too comfortable and that it was time for a change. Change is something I live by. Change means challenge and challenges make me grow as a person. I have tried to figure out what type of change I need to grow and I think it is mostly change in the work situation and living environment. That does not mean I forget about everyone the moment I change. In fact, all of you are the important stabilizing factor in my life.

This year has been quite an experience. I returned without having a job, with no idea what I really wanted to do except that I wanted to get out of the ivory tower; be more of a practitioner instead of a policy person. Coming back, I took my time, I went to Germany to improve my German, I traveled to Kenya to see my friends who I know from my time back in 1998. I made a visit to Italy and I worked with a coach, to figure out what it was that I wanted. Then the end of 2010 approached and even though I had the feeling I was moving forward I still had no idea where I was going exactly (but then, will I ever know). I started to meet up with people from different organizations because I realized I basically had no (career) network here. If I was looking for a challenge, I had found one.

In January 2011 I had an epiphany. Working for ONE organization might not be the way to go for me. It might be better to create my own projects or work with different people on their respective projects, projects I would believe in. So the idea of being an independent consultant was born. I initially wanted to work on all things sustainable. But while talking to different people about a project I had come up with (establishing a museum on sustainability), I realized again that what I am still really interested in is empowering those most vulnerable in society. I still believe I am a lucky person to be where I am today and I would love the same for those who were not so lucky. Of course, this is a very idealistic idea but I want to serve (albeit not in an army); serve my society and maybe also still, deep down inside, my world.

Where does that bring me now? I am currently working with a number of people, still on a voluntary basis to plan, develop and implement projects (organizing a regional product fair, assisting refugees in my neighboring town with administrative issues, working in a vegetable garden, cooking during a camp week - I just returned from that, I cooked for 50 people, 7 days in a row … -, assisting in the development of a nature camp for 12-year olds, and working with an social entrepreneur on a proposal to create more jobs for long-term unemployed and people with disabilities). 

Through all these activities I am learning very quickly what I find really interesting (assisting refugees, creating jobs for long-term unemployed, and taking care of people – e.g. cooking). While the people I work with have interesting projects, I still do want to also have a part-time gig (working for an organization, ouch!) where I actually directly work with people, like a job coach for example, maybe for refugees in my country??. This will require some additional education however so this is the type of thing that I am planning for the medium-term.

I know that eventually I will get a salary out of some of these activities and I have to continue building my network but at the moment, I am living on a rather tight budget. That is frustrating. When I talked to a friend recently who is also working on a career transition (I LOVE that word) he sent me this article from Fortune Magazine. When reading the stories of these people I realized this is just part of the game. The article gave me a huge boost to persist. I am a persistent person, fortunately but also rather impatient and it is taking a really long time.

How is being back home otherwise? Surprisingly, I appreciate my country more now than when I left it 8 years ago. A lot has to do with the fact I changed myself in those 8 years. I now accept easier that things are not always the way you would want them to be. I love the fact that I cook again for friends and family (and those 50-odd children and volunteers during the camp week) and especially try out all kinds of new recipes. I love being close to my family and friends but of course the downside is that a lot of other friends are not here. I was fortunate though that some of you already visited me here, had to be here for work or training, or flew through Amsterdam. Except for the past week (!!) the weather has been amazing this past year. I am back to running (tonight first run in over 2.5 months) and biking in the beautiful surroundings of where I live. Just biking everywhere by itself is SOOO amazingly nice. As is traveling by train everywhere (either within the Netherlands or through Europe). I live in a beautiful country (despite a lousy government, in my view). I still don’t have my own place to live though, although, that depends on how you look at it. It was fortunate for me that the apartment of my aunt and uncle was vacant and that they liked someone to live there. However, it looks like it will be sold soon so I am looking for another place to live.

As you can see, there is a lot of uncertainty at this one-year anniversary. The fact that you all are out there however makes that I can deal with this uncertainty. You take care of me one way or another and I appreciate that. Do I have any regrets? I actually never have regrets about decisions I take. I take them because it feels like the right decision at that moment in time. In this case, the decision involved a change and as I said in the first paragraph, a change is what makes me grow. And I want to continue to grow as a person. This year was also a year that made me realize how short or unpredictable life can be. Two people I know were diagnosed with cancer, one person my age, another at age 52 (they both are/have been dealing with it courageously). And just over a week ago a former colleague of mine/ours died in an accident at age 45. Life is short. We better make the most out of it. I want to live my passions and excel where I can.

I am looking forward to my second year back home. I know that things will settle down more and that I will gain an even better understanding about my next steps. Maybe I find a way to combine being in my home country with living internationally somehow because one thing I also learned in the past year is that my heart still longs to live in different cultures and countries and meet people from all over the world. That, fortunately for some, unfortunately for others, will never change.

Be safe, be cool, Ramadan kareem, and have a good week.

Rose